Inverno, Cerejeiras, Pessegueiros, Aprhodite

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Luiz Carlos Amorim

Dia dos Pais novamente e a chegada dele deixa mais vivo na memória que minha filharada está tão longe, que a casa está vazia e isso dá uma saudade danada. Fernanda mora na Provença, na França, tendo morado antes em Nice, no Côte D´Azur. Daniela está em Lisboa e ela e Pierre Aderne já me deram dois netos, Rio e Ian, suprema felicidade.

Ah, mas que falta que os filhos fazem. E agora, os netos também. E o Dia dos Pais não só aumenta a saudade, mas me faz pensar no privilégio de ser pai. É interessante que até algum tempo atrás, quando era um pouco mais jovem, eu achava que era um ótimo pai. Mas o tempo foi passando, a gente começa a ver tudo com mais clareza e comecei a tomar consciência de que não fui aquilo tudo como pai das minhas filhotas.

Queria ter ficado mais tempo com elas, queria ter vivido mais a infância delas, queria ter aprendido mais com Fernanda e com Daniela, queria ter trabalhado menos e vivido mais a adolescência delas. Queria ter aprendido com elas a dar mais carinho, a expressar melhor os sentimentos, queria ter sido mais pai. Queria não ter ficado longe delas por dois anos, por causa do trabalho, vendo a família só nos finais de semana. Isso faz falta.

Sei que fizemos alguma coisa certa, eu e Stela, pois nossas meninas são pessoas educadas, inteligentes e capazes, assim como solidárias e carismáticas. Mas sei também que eu poderia ter sido um pai melhor.

Então, o grande presente que tenho, sempre, em qualquer dia, até no Dia dos Pais, é ter sido pai de pessoas de almas e corações tão grandes e abençoados. O tempo de vê-las crescer foi o tempo mais feliz da minha vida. E agora tenho a reedição disso, pois dou avô de Rio e de Ian. Não é um bênção?

PS.: Já passou tanto tempo, mais de quarenta anos, mas ainda não consigo escrever sobre a perda de nossa pequena Vanessa, que se foi muito rápido, no dia seguinte ao de sua chegada. Virou nosso anjo e uma flor de jacatirão a representa. Mas ainda dói muito.

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